I recently read Richard Glover’s humorous book, The Dag’s Dictionary. This is a “book of words that should exist – but don’t”.
To give you a flavour of the author’s humour, here is a selection of my favourites.
Brick teaser – a person who goes to ‘open inspection’ houses with absolutely no intention of buying, but merely to have a stickybeak.
Cinearse – the aching bum you get when watching a long European film.
Hawkestra -the choir of coughers, sneezers and hawkers who spend their lives attending classical music concerts and plays.
Kneerotica – the practice of touching knees with another person in a cinema or benath a restaurant table in order to signal your romantic availability.
Leer-mark – the crease in the spine of a racy novel, indicating the rudest page.
Liebry – a pile of unread but fashionable books placed on a coffee table in order to impress visitors.
Micropest – any irritating animated figure that appears on your computer screen to offer help.
Skulldrudgery – once you’ve shaved your head, the need to keep shaving so people don’t realise you’re trying to hide a bald spot.
Taggadocio – vain, empty boasting by means of wearing clothes with a visible brand name.
Thinges – the thin plastic hinges on a CD box which inevitably break within moments of purchase.
Thinstructor – a person hired by a gym to be an inspiration to us all.
Wedgetarian – a child whose diet consists solely of potato wedges, with occasional side-serves of chips.
Read more at Richard Glover’s web site.