Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…
Support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it..
Support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer..
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
This one is my favourite:
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his printer is working fine.’