A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman go to the London Olympics and want to get in, but they don’t have tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
“McTavish – Scotland” he says, “Discus,” and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.
“Waddington-Smythe – England ,” he says, “Pole vault” and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
“O’Malley -Ireland ,” he says, “Fencing.”